Monday, April 30, 2012

Funny Email from Jeff

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner? 
Here is a little test that will help you decide. 

The answer can be found by posing the following question: 

You're walking down a 
deserted street with your wife 
and two small children.

Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife 
comes around the corner, 
locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, 
raises the knife, and charges at you... 

You are carrying a 
Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. 
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. 
What do you do? 


Democrat's Answer:
  • Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
  • What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
  • Does the man look poor or oppressed?
  • Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
  • Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
  • Could we run away?
  • What does my wife think?
  • What about the kids?
  • Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
  • What does the law say about this situation?
  • Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
  • Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
  • Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
  • Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
  • If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
  • Should I call 9-1-1?
  • Why is this street so deserted?
  • We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
  • Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
  • I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
  • This is all so confusing!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... .. 

Republican's Answer:


............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........ ...... 

Southerner's Answer: 

Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!' 
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! 

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!' 

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

There something missing in that Bathroom

 Texaco Pledge from 1960

I understand that there is a Presidential election underway but something is bothering me and I am not sure how widespread a problem it is so I am going to ask the ....the smart and insightful...readers of Tom's Hideaway for help investigating this Issue involving Tissue...

That's Right!! Tissue, like Kleenex, the ones you grab for when you have to sneeze or blow your nose and I am sure many other things. My "Issue with Tissue" is not the product itself but the availability of it in Restrooms.

Many I have talked to indicate, and this is verified, that most Casino's have Facial Tissue available in the bathroom, at Foxwood's in Connecticut,  and many  other casinos I've been to you will  find an attendant in the bathroom too. 

I see no need for an attendant in every bathroom , although it might make for some better conditions overall, many bathrooms are "singles" and sharing it with an attendant  would be a little uncomfortable.

Unlike Casinos, and many hotels I have been to, very few Restaurants and Nightclubs offer facial tissue in their bathrooms.  When I need one , I refuse to blow my nose in public, I find myself in a bathroom stall trying to fish out some 2ply toilet paper out of a monstrous and hard to use toilet paper roll in order to get the job done. 

A box of Kleenex at the sink would be so  much more civilized. 

Am I crazy ? Wait...that's not the question. Is what I am asking for Crazy?

I hear that you are more likely to find a box of Tissues in the Ladies Room....but I really can't check that out.

I want my readers to investigate this and get back to me. 
I see a list growing of Bathrooms With or Without Tissue Available beginning already.
Was it in the Ladies Room but not the Mens Room ??

Lets Make it an Issue to have Tissue in the Loo...