Wednesday, June 20, 2007

IDIOTS,Morons, Maniacs and A _ _ Holes

I never knew there were so many...I suspected there were some out there but I have seen a lot more lately. Idiots, they are everywhere. I guess I just never knew what to look for, but recently I've had the opportunity to be a passenger whilst my Sister - R - was driving.

"R" pointed out that people who drive at exactly 35mph in a 35 mile an hour zone are idiots! I never knew that but she gets pretty worked up about it. In fact if you go any slower than the posted speed limit it's possible you could be classified as a Moron. It's not something they teach you in driving school, but really, what do they know??

Don't pull out in front of "R" except if she slows to let you out. You don't want to be known forever as a Stupid Idiot do you?? Of course, if she slows, pull out and step on it...she's doing you a favor but the clock is ticking...Don't make "R" wait, don't be an Idiot.

Driving on the highway "R" prefers to stay in the fast lane. She has determined that 5 to 10 Mph faster than the speed limit is acceptable. She expects this from everyone around her. Unfortunately not everyone drives this way and this makes them A--Holes. If "R" is behind you in the fast lane and we are close enough to smell the deodorant you put on this morning...please, for my sake, get out of the way!!

While "R" seems to be an avid tailgaiter, don't tailgate her. Somehow it's wrong, I just haven't figured out why yet. Eventually she will approach her turn, move out of the way and then you can speed by her. Of course you will be know as a maniac, a speed demon, and yes..A Moron.

Not only did I see a bunch of wacky drivers while with "R" but some of the ones we came across reminded "R" of some of the "Idiots" she's seen in the past. She told me stories about the lunatics she'd seen out there on the highways and byways. It's scary out there folks. It's equally scary that she has such vivid memories of these Dunderhead Drivers...

I have to say "R", you gotta take some deep breaths, find a happy place, align the chakras and then get in the car...It may cut down on the number of "idiots" you see out there on the roads.

Love you Sis!!! You know I'm your FAVORITE brother!!