Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday
buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact,
if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where
they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine
single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than
single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year
but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories
in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one
for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole
point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make
a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy.
Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with
skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother?
It's like buying a sports car with an automatic
transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort
to control your eating. The whole point of going to a
Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots
of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now
and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have
nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a
10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet
table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size
of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have
as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.
They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of
each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and
one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have
more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with
the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all
cost. I mean, have SOME standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave
the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying
attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is
just around the corner.

I got these tips from Gailsie who is currently doing Missionary work with orphans in Tanzania
She won't have these options in Tanzania but I know she is making Christmas better for those around her!!

Merry Christmas Mama Gailsie!!

Shortcuts, thinking outside the Box

With a little imagination maybe you can pick up those
last minute gift tems and avoid those long lines
at the check-out counter, or the bathroom...
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to ALL

Test For Thursday, it's easy

Yes it's another test. This one Have you ever been Abducted By Aliens? should be helpful. Plagued by bad dreams, constant worry? Maybe you were abducted, and the answers you get will be a big help to your therapist!

Tuesday Test

I ranked 18.5% higher than average.I know that will be difficult for some of you to believe, but that's the way it is.. Find out if you are Smart or Stoopid and let me know how you did

Baby Porcupines cute, but not too huggable

My First, and God Please My LAST !!

I welcomed my first Kidney Stone Saturday morning,
actually he introduced himself with a stabbing pain
in my back...I went to the ER where it took an hour
to register, even though I was in obvious discomfort.
I should have told them I had Chest Pains, exploding
Kidneys don't count..Anyway a little Morphine and
then a Cat Scan confirmed that I indeed had a 3mm stone
with a long way to travel before I'd be rid of him.
While I waited in my room for the Doctors orders, I
switched on the TV and Rocky Balboa was fighting Mr T,
I named my stone Rocky, I just hope there are no sequels!!
My stone is 1mm smaller than the one pictured above,
The Rabbit below had it much worse than I,
but he looks happy now!!
I Can't wait!!

Back from Maine

Well I've been away from the PC for a few days, took a trip to the lovely state of Maine. I heard somewhere that Maine was the only Northern state that backed the Confederacy....I can kinda believe it. I went to Maine for my good friend Cathy's birthday and while I was there I met quite a few people....her sisters and brothers were all very nice and and the party was a hoot.....but I also met some real strange people too...frankly you might call them odd...most of the "odd" ones I met in Ellsworth at a bar where I actually sang Madonna's "Like A Virgin" I was a hit....that in itself is odd because I cannot sing...I took the bus from Boston to Bangor, they have Movies on the bus now and I think cops let busdrivers go a little faster because it always takes me longer to drive there on my own.

When I left today it was snowing pretty hard, My daughter and her Husband Brian gave me a ride to the Trailways station and now Maine has one less Masshole, yeah that's what they call people from Massachusetts...well, Here is a link to a funny guy from Maine Bob Marley

Dirty Jobs

I think cleaning bloody surgical instruments was my dirtiest job, I hated busing tables during brunch..how many fricking plates can one person use?? Then, while I didn't consider it a Job, changing diapers can be kinda nasty sometimes...I know there are jobs I wouldn't ever want to do...how about you, my kind readers...what was or is the worst or dirtiest job you have ever had?

Gesto De Amor

Winner at Cannes Film Festival

Lite Beer goes Dark

Nice hitting on this one

Tom Bunny Steps Out

Tom took off the restraints and hung out for Thanksgiving,
Wishing all Merry Xmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Happy Happy
Just try to fricking smile, so many holidays it's hard to be
Politically Correct

Places I've lived or visited

While this isn't all inclusive, in fact I forgot Bangor,Maine!! Oh well I just created a map of places I've been, and I know some people eho have never been outside of their home state , here is my map of Places I've Lived,Place I've been

Create your own at YourGmap

And Thanks again to Way Khool Sites, I wouldn't have found this without you!!

English Lesson

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am Upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

Heroes, The Cheerleader's Alive

What about D.L.??

Nikki fired her Blase R93 Sniper Rifle to end
last night's episode. Earlier she had told her alter
ego in the mirror " We're going hunting"

The show continues....how you like it now???

Heroes......Great Show Last Night

With exception to the numerous commercials, Heroes is a great show. Last night a new hero was in the mix, until Sylar ripped her brains out....Will Hiro be able to jump back in time and save her? Will he be back to Save Claire "The Cheerleader" next week........Interestingly Mr. Bennet, Claire's father, may not be the scoundrel he appeared to be...while he will stop at nothing to save his daughter, he does still have a dark side.....Can't wait till next week, but I may tape it first, then speed through the commercials...If you haven't seen the show you are definitely missing out, heck it's so good they will probably cancel it.....

Halle Berry's Reaction

She was told about my last post and when she heard we were a 93% Celebrity Match....well she laughed!!
















It's not that funny!!

How much Horsepower you got in there?

I visited a one of my fravorite blogs Way Khool Sites
I found a link there that gives me my best Celebrity Matches
These are mine
Try it out yourself and please visit W.K.S.

Red Auerbach 1917 - 2006

Arnold "Red" Auerbach died suddenly on Saturday Oct 28, 2006 near his home in Washington. He was 89.
He was known for his hot tempered coaching style, and his ability to acquire players who would ultimately be superstars -- like Bill Russell and Larry Bird.
"Red Auerbach was the consummate teacher, leader, and a true pioneer of the sport of basketball," NBA Commissioner David Stern said in a statement on www.nba.com.
"The NBA wouldn't be what it is today without him."
He led the Celtics to 10 Eastern Division titles in 16 years, and his string of NBA titles from 1959-1966 remains unmatched in U.S. professional sports.
You have to do something special or they don’t craft a bobble-head after you!!


Miss You Red RIP 1917-2006

Tiger's Lose

picture from : Detroit News.Com
St. Louis fans celebrate the Cardinal's, 2006 World Series Champs, while in the dugout the Tiger's party is over. As a Red Sox fan I understand how Tiger's fans feel this morning......Blame me, I picked them to win and I'll tell you that's been the curse of every sporting event I've bet on this year......

PLAY BALL

St. Louis is up 2-1 in best of seven, I'm a Red Sox
fan so I am routing for A.L. Go Detroit !!

Joke from JR Greeks and Italians

A Greek and an Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon."

The Italian says, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek says, "We had great mathematicians."

The Italian says, "We had the Roman Empire."

And so on and so on for hours, until finally the Greek lights up and says... "We invented sex."

The Italian nods slowly and thinks, then replies, "That is true -- but it was Italians who introduced it to women."

North Korea Celebrates

STORY: North Korea celebrated the 80th anniversary of the formation of the Down-with-Imperialism Union (DIU) by President Kim Il Sung with China, in a lavish parade on Tuesday (October 17) night. Thousands of Koreans in traditional cloth danced and sang in the Indoor Stadium in Pyongyang, holding flares and torches and formed human signs that could be read from above.

The parade ended with a brilliant spectacle of fireworks which lit up
the sky.Reuters News , photos from China Daily

My observations: They had quite a turnout, everyone dressed the same, Sanctions don't dampen their party spirit and they really like to light it up, I wonder if the signs that you can see from above say anything about where the WMD's might be more likely they're just giving the satellites that look down on them the finger.

Final impression...scary bastards

Mean Cards

This is a blog I read from time to time, I don't think we will find these little ditties in our local Hallmark Store check out MEAN CARDS from FunnyEMAILS

Don't Upset The Cat

He can get pretty nasty

It's Sunday and I'm ready for the NFL matchups today, I've put down a small wager of "peanuts" on 5 games today. Of course wagering real money would be against the law...Online gambling is illegal in USA, thankyou Big Brother
Buffalo over Detroit by +3, Atlanta over NYG +3, Baltimore over Carolina +3, Cincinnati over Tampa Bay +6 and on Monday Night Chicago over Arizona +10....
If I win I get 200 Peanuts
If I win, I'm betting Cashews next week!!

Where are the W.M.D.'s

Well, JUST follow the signs!!!



North Korea----------------------------> this way....

Holy Crap

These nifty PJ's are only 39.95 a pair !!
Get the kids ready for the next Holy War
go to The Armor Of God and get them
Today. I wonder if they have any Holy Lingerie??

Undiscovered Web Sites from PC Magazine

Ever wondered how your town's crime rate compares with the national average? Or how much is spent per student in the city you're thinking of moving to? Find out at Sperling's Best Places, one of PC Magazine's Top 99 Undiscovered Web Sites

Mary I Miss You

Your kindness, your love




your wild and crazy side too

Dec, 28th 1966 - Sept 29th, 2004

Here is a song called Mary's Phone Machine that was written by my friend Allen Estes. He called our house after hearing about Mary's Death and wrote the song shortly after...Mary is actually in the song at the end and she would be proud to know it was put on a CD for Katrina Relief Titled "After The Storm Volume 1"

She would not have agreed with the song, but then she was in denial....

Not Your Average Photos

Joe sent me this photo album

Sean, Cool as a Moose, I swear that Moose is giving me the finger.
He's flying to San Diego today
Last night he woke me up
He made me watch a recording
Of me, snoring!!

I've converted my blogs to Beta now and most things are working well. My search button isn't working yet; however you can still search from my blog by using the enter button rather than pressing the buttton below the search box. Overall beta version is easier to use. The blogger team is keeping us updated with problem solving at their Blog


Now I have to take a bath, I hate the sink !!

Room With A View

Finally, I have a room with a Window !!!

No Winner

We have another chance on Friday, Est Jackpot will be $119 million!!

My Grandaughter took this picture of me, she started school Tuesday

Raine Lynn's Blue Eyes

Mega MillionsTuesday $91 MILLION

Well I've spent the Labor Day weekend working. It would be nice, no it would be much better than nice if I won the Mega Millions Jackpot this Tuesday, September 5th. People ask each other, Would you still work? I know I'd definitely be doing something different . I hope it wouldn't feel like work. Other people say yeah 91 million but they kill you on taxes. Right, even if you had to give up 75% of it you still have over 20 million to spend on yourself.....I've read that quick picks win about 50% of the time, that's what I played. Some people play their own numbers...I say give it a shot for 1 dollar...If you have trouble picking numbers maybe Katerina can help, anyway Good Luck and if you do win the big one and you played your ticket after reading this posting, I accept tips

"We Asked Him Not to do a Cannonball"

Event caught on satellite 8/28/06

There's a flood watch For Cape Cod and Southern New England coastal areas. Ted Kennedy jumped off the SS Pork Barrel which was anchored just off Hyannis MA where Kennedy was dining on large quantities of food with some unknown lobbyists who were attempting to gain favors out of the over-sized Senator from Massachusetts. One man, who would not give his name, reported that "after Kennedy jumped, the boat nearly capsized"

Ted Kennedy Mass Senator, I mean MASSIVE

Maybe Just FAT

I had trouble with a good Title for this posting, I need something snappy, Any good ideas out there?

Post a comment with a Funny Title and I'll change mine.

If you have a blog or website I'll put your link HERE


I found this picture and some interesting background on our "beloved" senator on a very interesting blog Destination Sanity's Bluff

Iran defiant as nuclear deadline nears Aresu Eqbali AFP August 21, 2006

WAR GAMES: An Iranian army helicopter participates in a war game in Sistan-o Balouchestan province, southeast of Tehran, August 19.
(REUTERS)

TEHRAN -- Iran insisted Sunday that a nuclear freeze was not on the agenda and showed off its latest weaponry, two days before it is to respond to an international offer aimed at ending the long-running crisis...see the rest of the story at Middle East Times

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LATEST Burqa Craze

Multi-function burqa finds new fashion followers

And there are more and more cases of male insurgents caught using burqas to conceal themselves and their weapons...more from MidEast Times

Nuclear war starting in 10 days?

That's the question posed in PRAVDA today, see the rest of the article HERE

The Wall Street Journal article mentioned in Pravda, HERE

Can you tell a MAN from a WOMAN ???

Take this TEST

Germany Faces French Fries Fiasco

“While Germans giggled when they heard that a certain high-profile cafeteria in the US had placed french fries back on the menu,” more...

Tags: news, germany, french, fries

Naked truth on husband, wife, mistress
By Han Lei (chinadaily.com.cn)
Updated: 2006-08-09 17:28

A woman was ordered by the court to apologize to her husband's mistress for taking pictures of the couple sleeping together in Chongzhou...more...

Tags: travel, discounts, insurance

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I don't usually like parades but I might make an exception HERE

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Good News

I think the exclamation point
is what makes me laugh



How Exciting!!

more info....

Remeber the SNL skit DEEP Thoughts by Jack Handy

New Floating Hover Bed ONLY $1.2 Million

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News Bytes:

Click tagline for whole story:

Bird flu scenario dire, says expert
Huge death toll, global panic likely

Russian woman stops sleeping for eight years

Italian Police Seek Huge Breasted Woman

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Have you ever asked yourself,

What if John Kerry was a Lady? Click HERE to find out.

Current TV is 1 Year Old

Happy Birthday to http://www.current.tv/ I found the place yesterday and posted the web address, after I found it on Comcast Digital cable I watched it for a couple hours. The worst thing was an ad for ringtones but that was outweighed by so many great things I think I am hooked. The videos on Glaciers, Lebanon, Bikes oh and Burlesque were great...Tune in watch let me know what you think.
If you like http://www.youtube.com/index

you'll like http://www.current.tv/

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Tags: current tv, television, you tube, blogging

More TV STuff

Brilliant But Cancelled is a website that is actually an NBC Universal product, maybe we'll see some of the old surface episodes.

Current TV is working with Comcast, here is how they say it works:
Anyone who wants to contribute can upload a video. Then, everyone in the Current online community votes for what should be on TV. You can join in at either stage -- watch & vote or make video. (We've also got online training to help you get the skills you need to make TV!)
This isn't a "cut the crap button but possibly a good trend in television.


Okay, This isn't about TV but have you ever wanted to go to space? Currently, I don't see too many ways short of alien abduction, that a "regular person"(whatever that is) can get there. Celestis will take you there, but only if your dead!!

Finally, The epic drama "Heroes" chronicles the lives of ordinary people who discover they possess extraordinary abilities. Find the rest of the write-up at The Futon Critic Maybe we'll get hooked on this show and they can cancel it!!!

Is it me or does TV SUCK? Please Tell Me!!

I'd like to start an anti-television group.

I am sick of the programming that is coming my way. Networks and
many viewers, are stuck on "Reality" shows.
What "reality" are they presenting.
Watch people cat fighting, lying and being unscrupulous so they can win.
I try to avoid people like that.


When I watch TV I want to be entertained.
That happens now is when I rent a DVD.


The past season had some good prospects, but they were short lived.
The Invasion Series and The Surface series were both cancelled.

Too much money? Had to pay writers and actors!!

I am mystified by the popularity of shows like American Idol.
I mean these performers aren't even doing original music.

Do any of these people ever listen to the radio?

Whatever happened to Music Videos?
MTV's programmed music out of there schedule.

I gotta go, Pimp My Ride is coming on. AHHHHH

From yesterday's Wall Street Journal:
Googles Blogspot Making the News

By KEITH HUANG
July 24, 2006; Page R11

STANDUP COMEDY
• The Sound of Young America

TSOYA.blogspot.com
San Francisco resident Jesse Thorn, 25, champions the underground
comic with his blog. The site features a popular podcast where Mr.
Thorn interviews some of the nation's top talent and comics
occasionally perform sketches. "With only a couple of mass-media
outlets for comedy, one of my goals is to help get all the great
comedy that's bubbling up from the underground noticed," says Mr.
Thorn, who produces the podcast from his living room.

The blog revolves around the podcast, offering Mr. Thorn a platform
for news, commentary and "other bits and bytes that wouldn't work on
the air," he says. Sometimes readers offer dispatches from the field.
For example, one reader wrote about comedian Dave Chappelle's recent
surprise drop-in show at The Punchline in San Francisco.

Bunny STARZ

Classic Movies retooled WATCH HERE

Talk to a Person not a MACHINE

Tired of being on hold and pushing buttons on your phone? It's time to GET HUMAN

18 TRICKS

1. If your throat tickles, scratch your ear.

When you were 9, playing your armpit was a cool trick. Now, as an adult, you can still appreciate a good body-based feat, but you're more discriminating. Take that tickle in your throat; it's not worth gagging over. Here's a better way to scratch your itch: "When the nerves in the ear are stimulated, it creates a reflex in the throat that can cause a muscle spasm," says Scott Schaffer, M.D., president of an ear, nose and throat specialty center in Gibbsboro, New Jersey. "This spasm relieves the tickle."

THE OTHER 17

WOMEN DRIVERS OF THE YEAR

See the rest

Say Hello to my little friend

Makes Great Desktop Wallpaper
Right Click, Save as Desktop

Snapper from Milford, PA

Free from:
Toms' Hideaway

MAINE Attraction

Click here to find out what it takes to AWE the residents of BANGOR, Maine

SAND CASTLE COMPETITION

MORE SAND CREATIONS

My First Audio Blog

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