Tuesday, August 29, 2006

"We Asked Him Not to do a Cannonball"

Event caught on satellite 8/28/06

There's a flood watch For Cape Cod and Southern New England coastal areas. Ted Kennedy jumped off the SS Pork Barrel which was anchored just off Hyannis MA where Kennedy was dining on large quantities of food with some unknown lobbyists who were attempting to gain favors out of the over-sized Senator from Massachusetts. One man, who would not give his name, reported that "after Kennedy jumped, the boat nearly capsized"

1 comment:

TheManChild420 said...

Scarry. He won't be seeing any magezine covers in the near future with that whale gut. its even more frightening to notice that senator kennedy appears to lack nipples... hinting that those are not in fact his breasts. Not to worry, perhaps this is a deceiving photo and that is not Theo's real physique. Here are some popular alternatives:

1. The good senator is actually in great shape. This is merely a device used for swimming(known as the "JohnGoodmanFloatationAssistant").
2. Based on his political career, these are sacks of Teddy's brain mass, that have drifted away from his cranium and seek refuge.

3.Finally! we know what happend to Jimmy Hoffa.

4. Two norweigan men recently struck it rich, finding an undisclosed source for the worlds most tasty cream cheese.

5. Known as the area 51 theory, TK's tummy is among the governments ambiguous operations, and this paparazi photo reveals there long running knowledge of male pregnancies.

6. The final and most popular theory for senator kennedy's gut includes none of the previous suggestions. Instead, Ted is accused of being a fat shit, eating up canoli's and chilli dogs as swiftly as he eats up tax dollars.

Update: theory six was immediately proven.