Monday, June 23, 2008

George Carlin , R.I..P.

George Carlin died of heart failure last night after checking into a hospital complaining of chest pains, he was 71.

Here is one of the many rants he performed in his great comedic career:

GOD

When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy shit!

But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is farked up.


Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago !!

R.I.P. George

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

R.I.P Funnyman....

UNOWHO said...

Sorry George! I think you were wrong. Did you ever see anything good happen when you were alive?

Dawtch said...

Tom, I borrowed your post - twice - I hope you forgive me..? I did link back to you...It is just that it is the most appropriate, for me...I could have just gone to the web and lifted it from somewhere, but I'd rather give a link to a friend :)
bb
dawtch

choochoo said...

I'm gonna miss George. There are far too few people out there making fun of the ice capades.