A Short Story

I rear-ended a car this morning !!

There I was alongside the road, the car I hit pulled over just ahead of me when slowly the driver opens his door and gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo stressed sometimes life just seems to get funny?

Well, I could NOT believe it . . the guy was a DWARF! He stormed over to my car,looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"...

I laughed out loud and looked down at him and said , "Well, which one are you then?"... and THAT'S when the fight started . .

Those Dwarfs are pretty tough....

Look, LOOK AT THE Camera you nitwit!!

Oh Yeah, Let's dress Tommy up in Lederhosen and take pictures of him !!

Okay , maybe they were right...I mean we were in Germany, if I remember correctly there was this lovely Fräulein waving at me and I was just given her a wink and a smile!!

ME and my Three sisters

CLICK ON PICTURE TO READ WHAT THEY ARE SAYING!

How To Impress A Girl

Just blow in her face!! Now I'll have to go out and try it.....I just don't know if I should buy any Tipalets I did quit smoking after all....

The following 90 second video ad is another refreshing way one might impress a woman..

Sagres Bohemia - "Diamond Ad", Total 90 secs, stereo
Uploaded by alvaromrocha

That's my view on Diamonds for sure...What Pierce got was worth a whole lot more to me than what he paid with!!

Maybe I should change my name from Tom, a rather common name, to something like "Slade" or "Lance" ??

Well I'm off to think about this for awhile, currently I like the Beer idea best....maybe I'll buy some beer and invite someone over to watch the Football game this weekend...That'll Impress em for sure>

New England Patriots 12 - 0

Are you a Star??

Flowfield Unity

Who dresses like this??

Dockers.com

When I saw this ad in the Dec 3rd edition of Sports Illustrated , I laughed. Believe me unless the guy in the ad is looking in a mirror and laughing at that stupid scarf then, let just say I'm laughing at him, not with him.

What scares me is that ad didn't just come out of nowhere. I mean they ("Docker/Levi Strauss") must have done some research. It means their are actually people, "men" dressing like this.

He probably has a bunch of buddies that tie their sweaters around their necks and hang out at the country club...

The sweater, the pants yes....The SCARF..wow, that's just wrong. I don't even know why it's wrong but if I met someone like this I am sure I would make a comment. I wouldn't be able to control myself.

If you get me in the Christmas Grab: DON"T BUY ME A SCARF!!

To continue in English Press 1

We've all heard those annoying little computerized voices that give us menu options over the phone,

Like,

For Service, press 1

For Sales, press 2

For someone who really cares , hang up and look in a mirror!

Well you don't get that one too often...On a couple occasions I've made it to the last choice and I am waiting for someone top pick up and then I get disconnected..

No buttons on these phones.. photo by Cursief Huigjeese

I learned a way of coping with those long waits in telephone hell. I use the speakerphone and go on doing something else and when I hear someone actually answer, I pick the phone back up.

But something else has come to my attention, something I just don't get. I called COMCAST Information on my phone the other day and was greeted in English by a perky feminine computer generated voice:

"Welcome to Comcast Directory Assistance , For English press 1 - or stay on the line."

Then a more sultry feminine computer generated voice tells you to press 2 for Spanish

What if I was from Tanzania and I only spoke Swahili ??? Why don't I get a choice??

Why didn't we get the Sultry voice in English and give the Spanish the Perky voice??

Since I am from the United States and was brought up speaking ENGLISH...How come I have to hear this, to continue in English message??

OF Course I want to continue in English that's what we speak in this country !!!

You speeeka de enlgeeesh??? Well you don't want to go to your local unemployment office or seek out any government assistance because you will spend most of the day trying to find the forms that are written in ENGLISH.

What is it with this country that we cannot say, look we speak English here and we welcome anyone from anywhere but in order to fit in to our society it would be easier if you learn ENGLISH.

Instead we print every public document in 6 languages and guess who pays for that translation service???

There is actually a movement in this country to teach Spanish kids in Spanish rather than teaching them English.....

When I was in Mexico, no one tried to make it easy for me to communicate...everything was in Spanish...and that's good, cause they speak Spanish in Mexico and I knew that when I went there.

Guess what, French is spoken fairly regularly in Quebec, Canada.

Personally I think it should be mandatory to only "speak" in "Sign Language"...at least it would be a little quieter!!

Graffiti everywhere this Thanksgiving

Turkeys have been see all over the place asking us to eat HAM !

But now they have started defacing public and private properties....

Thursday is TURKEY DAY.....Have seconds and take a BITE out of Crime

original pictures from Walcoo.net...then I touched them up a bit