Funny Email...Thankyou Gailsie

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel ,
Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to
the Promised Land.

   Nearly 75 years ago,(when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said,
Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the
Promised Land.

   Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the
price of camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

   I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the
economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds,
etc . . . I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English.  I was
connected to a call center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal.

   They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck ...

UCLA Study

It's been around but I received this from  Jimmy at The Barnacle and it always makes me laugh...

A study worth sharing with friends both male and female:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his ass while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected on this subject

Funny EMAL and a winter Pic

The Funny Email:


I just got off the phone with friend living in
North Dakota near the Canadian border.

He said that since early this morning the
snow has been nearly waist high and is
still falling.

The temperature is dropping way below
zero and the north wind is increasing to
near gale force.

His wife has done nothing but look through
the kitchen window and just stare.

He says that if it gets much worse,
he may have to let her in.

Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros Acoustic Cover (Jorge & Alex...

Wow, this beats American Idol any day !

Give The Guy A Ticket !!

Yesterday after my morning shower I headed to the kitchen for much needed coffee. I switched the news on to get a weather update and the story making the news was a New Hampshire guy that got a ticket for speeding while he was hurrying to the hospital with his wife in labor...here's the story.

So this guy, speeding a 100+ MPH, to get his wife to the hospital deserves the ticket. He not only wasn't in a good frame of mind to be driving that fast, he put his entire family and others at risk...but there's more...

Again this morning he was on the news because I guess it wasn't big enough news day for anything else. The news station is polling people to see what the public thinks about this non story, 53% agreed with me but really I don't even want this information!

I just wanted to find out who won Mega Millions, sadly it wasn't me.

So to make matters worse, This guy , his wife and I can only presume, the newborn babe, will be on Good Morning America tomorrow.

What's next? A reality show for expectant parents speeding to the delivery??

I wonder if I was driving and I reallllllly needed to go to the bathroom and I drove 100+ MPH to get to the next rest stop, if I could get on the news....

HEADLINE, Ticketed for Speeding, Masssachusetts man says "I HAD TO PEE!!"

Best Commercial I've seen for Drunk Driving

Funny EMAIL

A woman from Los Angeles, CA who was a tree hugger, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA .

There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.  As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to Mt. Carmel ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter; and, how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

 He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but due to Obama Care, they turned me down.

Thinking About...In Pictures

Not in any specific order, I guess that's how my mind works.

My Girls

Banana Cream Pie

Burger and Sweet Potato Fries...

Sean's Apple Pie with his TRADEMARK Lattice Crust

Patrick