Friday, August 31, 2007

Asshole Evidence

I was driving out of Boston today and it was slow going. Everyone was making a bee line to their vacation spots on this last summer 3 day-weekend getaway . It's Labor day here in the USA and for most kids it's back to school next week.

While sitting in midst of the traffic that is produced by this need to get away I plotted my route to avoid delays wherever possible. I felt that if I headed home , to Lynn, that no one would be headed there for the last days of their summer. That old saying Lynn, Lynn the City of Sin is better at keeping people away from here than it is drawing them in.

Little do "they" know there is far less sin in Lynn than there used to be...those Vacant buildings in the City Center are becoming condos. The Train makes Lynn a convenient 15 minute ride into Boston. Little do "they" know and few if any of "them" read this blog...So don't tell anyone that Lynn, Ma, the Home Of Marshmallow Fluff, will soon be a desirable city to live in.

Because when "they" move here it won't ever be the same.

Who are "They" ?

They are those people who have exhibited clear evidence of being Assholes! There I said it. No better place to find this evidence than while driving out of Boston, Ma on a busy Holiday Weekend.

There are assholes everywhere!!

They are easy to spot.

They ride your bumper so close you can see their crazy eyes in your rear-view mirror

When they approach a green light they hit their breaks as if they are trying to determine the shade of green in the light. Meanwhile, they have caused a chain reaction causing others to hit their breaks and then ultimately they get through the light. I don't make the light because of, his, indecision, I am stopped at the light watching him drive away to cause further problems down the road....He clearly is an asshole.

When traveling a road that is going from 2 lanes down to one, anyone speeding by in the lane that is being cut down so they can cut in front of the line of traffic is an asshole....There are no exceptions to this rule. They let you know this, the lane merge, is happening with signs a mile before you get there!! Merge early and there would be no delays further down the road...Why can't we all just get along!!

Why are there so many Assholes.

More evidence..

Assholes don't use blinkers!!

They honk their horns with aggravating frequency.

Has anyone out there got any Asshole Evidence to share, I could go on and on but I am finally home and it's time for a Corona...


L'l Bunny said...

Just in case you were wondering - I am sure that in some cars the directional blinkers are an option that people don't purchase so they can have more speakers to blast music. Automatic windows may also be an option that isn't selected for the same reason. I have noticed that some cars have the sound blasting and all of their windows are rolled down - perhaps so everyone can enjoy their "taste" in music. It's more likely that having rolled down all the windows, and now driving it is a bit difficult to roll them up again, by hand....too bad you fellow travelers on the road!

TOM said...

loud music emanating from car producing unwanted noise for others = definitely evidence of an asshole!

unowho said...

By any chance were l'l bunny and Tom in the same car?????

Rain said...

In California the assholes drive eighty miles an hour in the slow lane on the freeway.

Today I was at a stop light and there was a young mother crossing the road with a toddler. In the middle of the road she dropped two bags of groceries, she was trying to pick them up and take care of her child at the same time. The light turned green and the asshole next to me decides it is his turn to go so, he ran over one of the bags, sending squished food everywhere! Sigh.

Have a great weekend my friend!

Chaim said...

Assholes!?! As me to talk about assholes and I'll never shut up. I can't talk too much on the subject of assholes in cars... I don't drive, since I live in new York, so I'll talk about pedestrians, who are just as likely to be assholes as anyone else, I guess.

Subways are crowded. People get on, people get off. In the shuffle, someone is bound to get slightly bumped or brushed. most people understand this. Sometimes you get an apology, but, generally, no one here wants to waste their time with it, not the bumper or the bumpee. Bumping is all part of the package, and people understand this. But some people don't.

Today I got on the train and sat down a seat. Apparently, I *slightly* brushed a man's foot as I sat down next to him. As I sat down, I immediately got sighs and gasps from him.

"... You don't say 'scuse me or nuthin?!"

"Huh?" I said.

"You stepped on my foot, nigga! You say 'scuse me!"

"Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't realize. Sorry about that."

He loudly scooted over as far away from me as possible and mumbled: "Yeah you sorry... white mutha-fucka!..."

Come on, man... I am just trying to get to work. This isn't a big deal. I'm sorry I didn't notice I had brushed your foot (as there is *no* way I "stepped" on it). It's IMPOSSIBLE to navigate this city without bumping into someone. It's like driving in LA and expecting someone to never need to change lanes...

Anyway, there's an asshole.

And Tom, thanks for stopping by my blog. I did respond to your comment about the Yankees. I suspect you may be surprised at my reply.

TOM said...

unowho Where would you get that idea??

Rain, we have speedy assholes here too!

chaim - unfortunately assholes are walking among us. Your story is a clear sign of A.E. sitting right next to you!!

Sally said...

Tom, too many assholes so little space...sigh! People who stand in front of the door of elevators and trains..."how are you supposed to get out when your blocking my way?".

choochoo said...

Those two russian women who walked slooooowly through the isles at the grocery store, right in front of me, and stopped in front of every damn thing I wanted to put in my little basked while blabbering in russian and oozing cheap perfume - they were assholes.