Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday
buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact,
if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where
they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine
single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than
single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year
but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories
in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one
for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole
point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make
a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy.
Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with
skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother?
It's like buying a sports car with an automatic
transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort
to control your eating. The whole point of going to a
Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots
of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now
and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have
nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a
10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet
table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size
of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have
as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.
They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of
each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and
one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have
more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with
the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all
cost. I mean, have SOME standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave
the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying
attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is
just around the corner.

I got these tips from Gailsie who is currently doing Missionary work with orphans in Tanzania
She won't have these options in Tanzania but I know she is making Christmas better for those around her!!

Merry Christmas Mama Gailsie!!

Shortcuts, thinking outside the Box

With a little imagination maybe you can pick up those
last minute gift tems and avoid those long lines
at the check-out counter, or the bathroom...
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to ALL

Test For Thursday, it's easy

Yes it's another test. This one Have you ever been Abducted By Aliens? should be helpful. Plagued by bad dreams, constant worry? Maybe you were abducted, and the answers you get will be a big help to your therapist!

Tuesday Test

I ranked 18.5% higher than average.I know that will be difficult for some of you to believe, but that's the way it is.. Find out if you are Smart or Stoopid and let me know how you did

Baby Porcupines cute, but not too huggable

My First, and God Please My LAST !!

I welcomed my first Kidney Stone Saturday morning,
actually he introduced himself with a stabbing pain
in my back...I went to the ER where it took an hour
to register, even though I was in obvious discomfort.
I should have told them I had Chest Pains, exploding
Kidneys don't count..Anyway a little Morphine and
then a Cat Scan confirmed that I indeed had a 3mm stone
with a long way to travel before I'd be rid of him.
While I waited in my room for the Doctors orders, I
switched on the TV and Rocky Balboa was fighting Mr T,
I named my stone Rocky, I just hope there are no sequels!!
My stone is 1mm smaller than the one pictured above,
The Rabbit below had it much worse than I,
but he looks happy now!!
I Can't wait!!

Back from Maine

Well I've been away from the PC for a few days, took a trip to the lovely state of Maine. I heard somewhere that Maine was the only Northern state that backed the Confederacy....I can kinda believe it. I went to Maine for my good friend Cathy's birthday and while I was there I met quite a few people....her sisters and brothers were all very nice and and the party was a hoot.....but I also met some real strange people too...frankly you might call them odd...most of the "odd" ones I met in Ellsworth at a bar where I actually sang Madonna's "Like A Virgin" I was a hit....that in itself is odd because I cannot sing...I took the bus from Boston to Bangor, they have Movies on the bus now and I think cops let busdrivers go a little faster because it always takes me longer to drive there on my own.

When I left today it was snowing pretty hard, My daughter and her Husband Brian gave me a ride to the Trailways station and now Maine has one less Masshole, yeah that's what they call people from Massachusetts...well, Here is a link to a funny guy from Maine Bob Marley