Monday, July 02, 2007

Stuffed Animals Make The Best Pets

What? you say....Stuffed animals make good pets?? Yes they do?? Ask yourself the next time you get home from an overnight stay at a friends and you walk into your place and it is permeated with that distinct "Litter Box" scent?? Ahhh and if you have a friend with you that has never visited your house before the smell greets them with even more surprise. How about a spontaneous getaway to a "Drinking Spa"...No, spontaneity isn't a luxury when you have to find a kennel for your pet poodle Puffy.

Instead of "Live Pets" I suggest Plush Stuffed Animals. I would recommend a nice Gund. Now the ones people win at Fairs and Carnivals are always too stiff and really aren't much fun...they have an odd smell too. But a nice soft squishy bear or or a Snoopy dog...maybe something like

Steve!! The Hideaway Chicken.

Whatever animal you pick, remember It's always thinking exactly what you are thinking...

Tell it to stay, it stays.

It's 20 degrees below zero or it's raining, snowing or sleeting outside and it won't need to go for a walk.

It never shits in your shoe!! Never pees on your couch!!!

If by some chance it gets dirty...two words--Washing Machine.

2 week kennel fees

If you love and adore live animals, spoil your friend's dog and bring over a gourmet dog bone. Visit a petting zoo. Go to an aquarium or enjoy a pony ride.

Then, go home and give your plush animal a hug, tell it what you did..he/she will listen to everything you have to say, quietly...and you won;'t have to take em' for a walk first.


toes said...

You better hope that Minnie never reads this post.....although she does maintain that she is a "Human in a dog suit."

Carol said...

You make a good argument for the stuffed animal pets Tom but I think I will stick with the warm, cuddly ones...

A.I. Editor said...

Stuffed animals as pets are like hunting trophies.


Well, at least they do not poop all over in the house.

TOM said...

Toes...minnie doesn't scare me

Carol...I love "your " pets too, cause they are yours and you get to keep the poops

A.I. No poops to scoop, yeah!

Milly Moo said...

I recall Seinfeld saying once that if aliens landed and saw us humans standing behind our dogs, scooping up their poops they'd have a good theory about who is really ruling the world! (reaches down to pat Dogadoo, my furry-faced writer's muse)

Sally said...

I agree with you! My stuffed bunnies agree with you as well! I love animals but for many of the reasons you cited, I don't have one.

A.I. Editor said...

I once had a real pet grasshopper.

I sure wrote a positive post about my pet grasshopper.

I did not mention about the poop part.

I do not suggest a pet grasshopper to you guys.

It poops a lot for its small size.

I hated waking up to a clear enclosure of showcased scattered poop every morning.

So I had to let it go.

Now, after reading Tom's post, I think that I should have embalmed it for some benign scientific purpose.

At least I would have had a poopless & low maintenance pet grasshopper.

Dizzy Dee said...

I also prefer stuffed animals :) They don't have to go to the vet & don't eat :D
Much cheaper ;)

choochoo said...

mebbe, but you'd look damn strange walking that, so I think I'll just stick to the pooch for a while longer. The pooch rocks.

TOM said...

Milly, I love that, you made me laugh!!

Sally, picking poop up, that's the biggie!!

A.I. you did the right thing

ChooChoo, could we get a picture of the Pooch, I've heard a lot about him...maybe another Pooch Post??

Attila The Mom said...

Hehehe. Brilliant!

rabbit said...

I'm with Sally - stuffed bunnies are the best! Not just any stuffed bunny will do, they have to have a certain unique presence! I have one very fuzzy bunny puppet that traveled across country with us by car. He made a lot of traveling kids in other cars happy when he waved to them. So maybe he is as much fun as a real bunny - but no fuss & no muss!

L'il Bunny

Sally said...

I have a few (cough, cough) stuffed bunnies. Two of them were given to me when I was diagnosed with leukemia and will always stay with me no matter how thread bare they are! They are very jealous of the other stuffed bunny...he's a Gund. Plush, furry and no seams!!

Taj said...

My stuffed animals and I enjoyed a peaceful life together once.

Then I popped out a kid and along with her came 4 cats and LOTS of poop to clean up.

The kid cleans up her own poop now...the cats not so much.

And all 5 of the little heathens stole my stuffed animals.