Pure Michigan: Winter Virgins

Turkeys Causing Trouble Again!

Over the past few years Turkeys have begun to fight back during the Thanksgiving holiday. They are tired of being  the center of attention on tables across America.


I am sorry guys, all this graffiti across town has got to STOP !! Turkey tomorrow , leftovers the next. Heck, I might  consider Turkey for Christmas if this public destruction of property doesn't stop!!


HAPPY Thanksgiving !!

Funny Email, Thanks Vita!!

At a wedding reception recently someone yelled, 

"All the married men please stand next to the
  one person who has made your life worth living.

The Bartender was nearly crushed to death !!

Still Crazy but not on FOX !, Glenn Beck , It's Time To Start Worrying About Chocolate!

That Crazy Comedy Network FOX News came out in 2009 a skit about the climate change conspiracy they called CLIMATEGATE ! It was hilarious and they had their CRAZY Guy character GLENN BECK Break the story. Crazy Glenn of course had always been a non believer in the whole science of CLIMATE CHANGE and had joked about it a lot on that FAKE NEWS Site that FOX aired almost as often as The Simpsons.

Oh wait, I think I am confusing FOX News with The Onion, because Crazy Glenn was serious !!

This is a rush transcript from "Glenn Beck," December 2, 2009. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GLENN BECK, HOST: We have been following the climate-gate scandal this week. If you haven't heard about it, you ain't alone: mainstream media refuses to cover it. E-mails hacked from England's leading climate data hub show that researchers behind the global warming hysteria, they're just cooking the books. If you are not outraged, you should be — $145 trillion is what the solution is going to cost us.

Ah, but the CLIMATEGATE Scandal was Debunked, and the story died.

Unfortunately, like many stories that get broadcasted with big headlines that are later found to be false, the damage had been done. Many, otherwise intelligent people, who believe everything that comes out of a blowhard like Glenn Beck and his cohorts, won't hear about the story being false and will continue to think Climate Change is a hoax.

Well I just hope they don't like CHOCOLATE !!!

According to many reports I have read recently, due to rising Temperatures in West Africa and the Ivory Coast, where most chocolate in the world is produced! It is becoming "Too Hot for Chocolate"

CHOCOLATE SHORTAGES, almost worse than running out of water!!!

Cocoa growers may have to start shifting to other crops in order to make a living, leaving us less chocolate. in fact they may shift to growing nuts!

Maybe they will name a new nut, a BECK Nut or a GLENN-B Nut

I like CHOCOLATE way more then Nuts!

On a happy note, Crazy Glenn must have really been grating on people other than myself. He announced on April 6th, MY BIRTHDAY, that he was leaving FOX News.
He left at the end of June as pompous as ever. of course the real conspiracy there was that it was a mutual decision. HAH !! I'm thinking after losing almost half of his viewers, falling ratings and the fact that HE'S CRAZY had a little to do with it.

Of course if you still love GB, you can visit his Web Page which has a great tag line.

GLENN BECK The Fusion Of Entertainment and Enlightenment

OKAY, I have to go buy some CHOCOLATE !,

WOMEN - from funny email..Thanks Jimmy

WOMEN : A real woman is a man's best friend.

She will never stand him up and never let him down. 

She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. 

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. 

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible... 

No wait...Sorry.....

I'm thinking of whiskey.

It's whiskey that does all that shit. 

Never mind.

Patriots Win

I predict a Patriots win over the Oakland Raiders. Why? because he's cut his hair. Obviously with all the Beber comparisons last year and the shaggy performance last week he has realized that his game is directly affected by the length of his hair. No scouting reports are necessary, he cut the locks and is now set to break whatever momentum the Raiders might be bringing on the field today at 4:15pm in Sunny California.

I am glad it is going to be the Raiders that are going to be destroyed by Brady's return to the field, I've despised that team since I saw them move on to the playoffs in 1976 against my favorite Patriot quarterback and football player, before Brady, Steve Grogan in 1976 on a bogus penalty.

Redemption Time

For Margaret Mary, (MOM)

Mom, everyone misses you,  but I know that you are kicking it up there with the angels !

For Mary Margaret

Tonight a gathering will take place to celebrate Mary's life, who we lost September 29th, 2004. It's something her family, her friends and I have done since we lost her.  She is gone but she left a mark and she will always be remembered.

Outspoken, funny, maddening at times !! She gave me  her love  and,  sometimes her wrath, I probably deserved it !  It was her kindness toward my children and grandchildren, my family and my friends, that are my favorite memories of her. I will always miss her but I know that I was lucky to have known her and love her. Lucky still to have met her family and her friends so that on this day we can be together and celebrate her life and the spark she added to all our lives.

My Three Girls !!!

Up Early for the View

Had to be up early but the view out the bathroom window made up for it.

Need the right App

That's right, I am not sure what's going on here at Tom's Hideaway these days. I have this new iPad that frankly, I am addicted to, and while I have had some " great ideas for the blog" I find myself without the time to write anything original.

I have been a crazy Twitterer madly posting my Status via Facebook on my iPad 2 with my Facepad app. I am pretty certain that one day we will have " apps" for everything .

If I want to review the last place I ate, there's the Yelp App

Find out when my bus is due, I got that app

Games, maps, twitter, Facebook, they've all got apps..I have em.

The thing is, they don't all work as well as you would like them to, I'm still looking for a dating app that gets results!!

It should be pretty easy with what they have to work with, I'm a stud for heavens sakes!!

First Time and a little bit about forecast

Using blogger+ app, I am writing my first post from my new iPad 2.

So lets talk about the weather...

What kinda of hyped up news event will happen this week ? It seems the network and local news stations are really loving all the possibilities for catastrophe we had last week here on the East coast. Certainly there were some unfortunate deaths associated with the Hurricane, but first the earthquake and then the hurricane supplied the news teams plenty of extra time sell advertisement slots and fight for viewers in the effort to really overwhelm the public with dire warnings. oh and to make some serious cash with all those ads.

It was almost comical to watch one weatherman, or should I say, meteorologist, almost look sad to announce that the hurricane had been downgraded to a tropical storm just before arriving in NYC and hours before it would strike this region.

When he realized it was NYC, he said something to the affect that ,they, New Yorkers wouldn't be able to say that they had suffered a Hurricane. It was a little of the rivalry between New York and Boston manifesting itself in Weather Central, sure we were probably never going to see the storm get here as a Hurricaine, but Ha Ha, NYC didn't get one either.

The fact is, it was already a CAT 1 hurricane. And weakening. Certainly a serious storm but nothing to warrant the attention it got.

Then there is this quote from Michelle Bachman...

" I don't know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We've had an earthquake; we've had a hurricane. She said, 'Are you going to start listening to me here?' Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we've got to rein in the spending."

This person is a potential Presidential Candidate? Glen Beck spun God into the picture too, jumping on the Mormon tradition of hoarding for the potential doomsday that waits for all of us liberals out there.

Those who don't drink the Glen Beck Cool-Aid will all meet an untimely end because we don't hoard. Even if we did, we are a bunch of stupid liberals who would just give everything away.

If the Michele Bachmans, the Becks, or the Palins ever truly capture enough of the hearts and minds of this country with their crazy rhetoric, then our world will be reduced to a small population of God fearing anti evolutionists who love money, guns and oil. They despise what many call " Women's Rights" while endorsing corporal punishment and the death penalty. Scoff at what scientists refer to as Climate Change and continually and mistakenly call it Global Warming, blaming Al Gore and the rest of the democrats and liberals and those pesky immigrants

Sure the deficit can' t be blamed for GE paying only about 3% in income tax. hey, they make a lot of money and 3% is a lot of money.

Wish I could get away with paying only 3% in taxes.

Well, let's see if this will post...

Large-scale Oil Painting: Gypsy Dancer - eBay (item 190560492598 end time Aug-05-11 08:15:10 PDT): "Oil on canvas - Beautiful Gypsy Dancer (Approx. 9ft W x 12ft H)

Painted & signed by Bob Whitesitt 1995, this unique oil painting is a symphony of motion and color. With a tambourine in one hand and finger cymbals on the other, her skirt, beads and ankle bells are captured in motion as they swirl all around this lovely, sensual dancer. Wonderful details include coins and a rose laying upon the rough floor boards at her feet, while red ribbons and bells seem to encompass her.

Presently on a rolled canvas with eyelets across the top and bottom, this stunning work could be mounted for hanging, perfect for a tavern, dance studio, or any private collector with the proper wall space.

Good condition with subtle wear marks on right side as shown in the photos."

Save Your Bottle and Get 10% OFF

Of course you can only get the deal if you are in the local area.
 

The Office is located in Swampscott, MA.

  Visit the web page for more information at www.cosmeticdermcenter.com

Paying attention to the stars..

Read my Horoscope and I guess it's probably not a good day to tell everyone I told you so or  point out anyone's incompetence....it's gonna be hard.....because I am an ARIES..

My Horoscope For Today

It's a sign of intelligence when you want to grow into a more evolved person, but proving that you're right is not the best trajectory toward self-improvement. There's no justification for provoking a disagreement in order to demonstrate your competence. Instead of being argumentative at work or at home, show everyone how helpful you can be now. Cooperation is your smartest strategy today; it's certainly better than wasting energy in unnecessary conflict.

 

I'll let you know how it went...

Monday Morning

Bus Stop

Keeping my Carbon Imprint low, waiting on the bus coffee in hand. Still feeling great after the Boston Bruins won the Stanley Cup!

It's FRIDAY !!

Work, haircut, food.....and Beer are all on the menu tonight...Have a great weekend all!

Peanuts

Originally Posted here

Miss Airport 2011 Calendar..Thanks Levita!

American Healthcare.............

He missed Watching The Celtics Game on Sunday

But clearly, Sean had a better time than the Celtics did against Queen LeBron and the Miami Heat...

Funny Email, thanks Mitch

Picture courtesy of the Foxtongue Gallery

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked

"Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"

So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous

why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

 

MOM

She was the best, and here are some picture memories of my mother who sadly passed away on Sunday April 10, 2011. Love you MOM !

Coming To America

A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me come into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America."

The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America!

That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East. I am not American."

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"

She says, "No, I am from Africa."

Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"

The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."

Perils of a Catholic Upbringing

As I walked down the busy sidewalk, knowing I was late for Mass, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, homeless vagabonds that are found in every city these days..

Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them.

Recalling my old pastor, Father Mike, who always admonished me to 'care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked,' I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.

Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying every worldly possession in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person's condition.

Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a true, hidden beauty.

A small voice inside my head called out, 'Reach out, reach out and touch this person!'

 

So I did.......

 

I won't be at mass this week .......

 

AMAZING

It all started in Mississippi in 1958.....What a crew !!

 

Adam & Eve

Wow, Betty White back in the day.......

The Irish, an informative email from Gailsie

It takes an Irishman!

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists
found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years. They came to the
conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more
than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed an American
archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet. A story was subsequently
published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding
traces of copper wire 250 years old, have concluded that their ancestors
already had an advanced high-tech communications network - 50 years
earlier than the British."

One week later, the Dublin Times reported:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Nenagh, County
Tipperary, Seamus O'Reilly, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that
he found absolutely nothing. O'Reilly has concluded that 250 years ago,
Ireland had already gone wireless."

Makes you bloody proud to be Irish.....

What do you have next to your bed??

Today show panel cracks-up: "Watch Karl Stefanovic run off camera laughing, as the Today panel crumbles into hysterics. Courtesy: Channel 9."

Funny Email: 1st Tine Sex....Thanks Mary

1st Time Sex:

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.


Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.  
 
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

 
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.  
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
 
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent’s house and meets his girlfriend at the door.

"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
 
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.  
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.


10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

   
The boy turns, and whispers back,

"I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Funny Email...Thankyou Gailsie

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel ,
Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to
the Promised Land.

   Nearly 75 years ago,(when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said,
Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the
Promised Land.

   Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the
price of camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

   I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the
economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds,
etc . . . I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English.  I was
connected to a call center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal.

   They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck ...

UCLA Study

It's been around but I received this from  Jimmy at The Barnacle and it always makes me laugh...

A study worth sharing with friends both male and female:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his ass while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected on this subject

Funny EMAL and a winter Pic

The Funny Email:


I just got off the phone with friend living in
North Dakota near the Canadian border.

He said that since early this morning the
snow has been nearly waist high and is
still falling.

The temperature is dropping way below
zero and the north wind is increasing to
near gale force.

His wife has done nothing but look through
the kitchen window and just stare.

He says that if it gets much worse,
he may have to let her in.

Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros Acoustic Cover (Jorge & Alex...

Wow, this beats American Idol any day !

Give The Guy A Ticket !!

Yesterday after my morning shower I headed to the kitchen for much needed coffee. I switched the news on to get a weather update and the story making the news was a New Hampshire guy that got a ticket for speeding while he was hurrying to the hospital with his wife in labor...here's the story.

So this guy, speeding a 100+ MPH, to get his wife to the hospital deserves the ticket. He not only wasn't in a good frame of mind to be driving that fast, he put his entire family and others at risk...but there's more...

Again this morning he was on the news because I guess it wasn't big enough news day for anything else. The news station is polling people to see what the public thinks about this non story, 53% agreed with me but really I don't even want this information!

I just wanted to find out who won Mega Millions, sadly it wasn't me.

So to make matters worse, This guy , his wife and I can only presume, the newborn babe, will be on Good Morning America tomorrow.

What's next? A reality show for expectant parents speeding to the delivery??

I wonder if I was driving and I reallllllly needed to go to the bathroom and I drove 100+ MPH to get to the next rest stop, if I could get on the news....

HEADLINE, Ticketed for Speeding, Masssachusetts man says "I HAD TO PEE!!"